Thể Hình – Ảnh triển lãm, Liên hoan ảnh nghệ thuật Đông Nam Bộ (2 Khai mạc liên hoan ” Tiếng kèn đội ta ” với chủ đề: “Đội ta lớn lên cùng đất .
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Lee Chang-Dong. James Gray. Hanif Kureishi. Robin Wright Penn. Sharmila Tagore . Bertrand Bonello. Leonor Silveira. Piers Handling. Chat had started doing physical exercises. Saigon was threatened but not yet occupied by the Viet Cong. Truong Xuan did not stay back at Pare Pare for political asylum; instead, it headed back to Saigon. On our voyage back to Saigon, my heart was filled with both hope and anxiety. Saigon was in a state of much uncertainty.
On April 20th , I met Mr. Tran Dinh Truong, the owner of Vishipcolines shipping company. I made a request to him: The fleet of ships is national property; they should not belong to the Communists. Le Hong Phi as chief engineer. The second mate has reported to me that there is a plan to keep the ships in Viet Nam. If the river route from Saigon to Vung Tau is not secure then there will be American Marines to look after it.
You do not have to worry about that, Captain. Truong Xuan started loading scrap metal on April 21, , ready for Manila. It was time to make major repairs to the ship, but because of the emergency situation we only had time to repair the absolutely necessary parts. The dry dock time for the ship had to be postponed. Our loading crane was not functioning, and we had to rent a new crane to load the cargo.
The steam boiler was turned off in order to gut out all the rusted parts of the ship. By April 26, the scrap metal was completely loaded. All the paperwork for customs and overseas visas had been completed, yet the ship still did not have its chief engineer. While on the trip around South East Asia, the chief engineer T. When Truong Xuan arrived at Singapore, T. Upon arrival at port, T. The local police had to take him to the hospital because of his head injury.
I told T. I will arrange with the company so that you are fully paid while resting. He came back to the ship still in pain, and he could not work. When we got back to Saigon, T. This left us without an engineer. Up until April 27 there was still no chief engineer for Truong Xuan. Cao Trung, who was originally a mechanical engineer, later becoming a major in the Army Corps of Engineers, accepted the chief engineer position.
Interestingly, he was also a famous practitioner of Feng Shui. But on April 28, he left the ship in order to escape by air. He probably recognized the many problems with which the ship was saddled. Tran Dinh Truong, the ship owner, was still very optimistic that I was still level-headed enough to control the ship during these critical and chaotic times.
In order to run the ship smoothly, I needed enough crew members; the chief engineer and the telecommunications officer hold the most important positions onboard. The ship owner did not share the same view, but a chief engineer was eventually hired. Had the shipping company not agreed to hire Le Hong Phi as the chief engineer, the use of Truong Xuan to transport refugees would not have been realized. Over the years, I observed that the majority of my Southern colleagues, who had not lived under the Communists, tended to believe in the Communist propaganda.
Consequently, they were rather unsympathetic to the Northern refugees when they fled to the South in I had to be extremely cautious when discussing with them my plans to flee from the Communists. Many of my friends and relatives had asked me to be their means of escape. Everyone was struggling to get in so that they could escape by air.
Saigon was at its boiling point. Everyone was trying to escape. Those who were lucky enough to be picked up by the Americans already knew their destinations. The escape routes through the American Embassy and through the airport were reserved for those who had money and power. But for hundreds of thousands of those who were frightened by the record of Communist atrocities, the sea was their only means of escape.
People were looking for ways to escape, but the highways were full of standing traffic. In the cities, groups of people were running around as if they were sucked into a tornado. They were running in confused circles, as if they were hypnotized. They were frightened and desperate. Rockets and missiles were exploding.
Colonel Vu Lo came to see me. He told me that approximately discharged soldiers were seeking refugee on unsettled lands in Go Cong. But the ship needs its chief engineer. While writing about my journey of escape, 8 years later, I wondered about what had happened to the colonel whom I met at the end of April Where was the colonel?
Where ere his troops? Were they able to escape? Were they hiding in the forests, or were they miserable in jail? My elder sister-in-law also came to say goodbye before leaving with the Free World Radio staff members. Those that could flee escaped. There was no time to help others.
Going to sea was an easy route for me, as I had been going around South East Asia for the past 30 years. My older brother Kha lamented that our relatives did not want to leave the country. We signed papers to have the house transferred to him. Thu Giang, my daughter, also gave him full authority to use her dental office as he saw fit.
None of us could ever have predicted that we would be totally shattered refugees again. I dared not promise anyone a means of escape. I did not want to give anyone false hope as I had not been given authority to command the ship the way I wanted. I had many plans before leaving Pare Pare, but my hopes to carry them out were slowly dying, if not already dead. Vu Quoc Trinh, one of my countrymen — born in North Viet Nam — came and asked me to allow him to go with us; he even offered to pay for all the expenses. If the ship is able to sail, please join us.
No one has to pay for the fare as we are losing our whole country. There were soldiers guarding the gate. People were able to peacefully and safely board the ship. Soldiers guarded the gangway. I met the ship owner on April He wanted me to be the captain of his ship. It was a very important decision. I thought of my family. I thought of moments that I might have to take control when the ship faced technical problems. I thought of the possibility that people might become rebellious as they had on the ship leaving central Viet Nam. What could a ship captain do when everyone was in a panic, looking for his or her own survival?
I did not accept the proposal as the Tan Nam Viet ship captain.
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It left Saigon early in the morning of April 30, just before the surrender, without a ship captain. If it was only the two of us, we could have easily found an escape, even in the most difficult circumstances. I still did not give up my hope to help as many people as possible escape by sea, despite my feelings of overwhelming hopelessness at times. My wife and three daughters came back home from the airport.
I sunk down into a chair in disbelief. They had allowed only my wife to board the airplane, explaining that the travel documents did not show all the names of my family. On the way to Saigon harbor, the houses and streets had not changed, but they appeared more desolate. All the houses were closed and the streets were littered with garbage. People in the streets were aimless but in a hurry, and they all looked worried.
It was dead quiet in some places while it was very noisy in others. The American offices had been ransacked of furniture and other equipment. Lawlessness had clearly reigned in the capital. Truong Xuan was still quietly at anchor in the dock. Why are you so afraid of them that you need to run away?
The majority of the crew members were born in the South and did not understand communism. People who have not fully understood communism had to live under the Communists in order to know them.
Unfortunately, by that time, it was too late. He had his means of escape since he was a navigator. He wrote to me four years later from a refugee camp in the Philippines:. We were chased away at Singapore. Our dinghy continued its journey to the Philippines. Thanks to my experience as a navigator, we luckily survived. Everyone onboard was safe.
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Now I am one of the happiest people on earth as I really understand the meaning of Communism and no longer have to live under them. His words were simple, but he was able to express his despair because before , he had not had the experience of living with the Communists. What could I have done without the help of a reliable chief engineer? I wanted to recruit Phi, who had previously worked on Truong Thanh for 2 years.
He was extremely resilient, intelligent and competent. His technical knowledge far exceeded other chief engineers. Yet, the ship owner still had not agreed to recruit him. I met with the ship owner every day, but my hope of evacuating refugees by sea just faded away each time. I asked Chat to tell the ship owner that if they could not find a chief engineer soon, Truong Xuan would be left back in Saigon. I met one of my nephews, Major Tran Khac Thuyen, who had come back from his outpost in Van Kiep to ask his aunt to look after his very sick father, my brother-in-law.
He had been stuck in Saigon since the Saigon-Vung Tau highway had been occupied by the Communists, and he was unable to rejoin his division. It was a strange twist of fate that left him in Saigon. I became more and more disturbed as I was not able to be in full control of my ship. The inability to gain any control was debilitating. There were so many uncertainties ahead. I did not know of any organizations that helped people get out of Viet Nam.
I did not know if there were any countries that would accept Vietnamese refugees. The ship owner, Truong, telephoned as all these questions swirled in my head. When Truong Hai ship is ready to sail, I will get word to you. Your current location at Cong Hoa soccer field is too far away and I am not sure that I can reach you there quickly enough. But he had his own motives. He had to look after his own fleet of ships first. As for me, I wanted to help my family and my compatriots escape the Communists.
Pity that he and I could not have compromised any earlier. For that reason, I did not totally believe him. As for me, I knew I had to be in total control of my fate. Unsure of his plan, I decided not to take my family to Khanh Hoi Harbor. Besides, I could not have afforded to pay for accommodations for my whole family at the harbor. Strangely, Truong never mentioned Truong Xuan. Perhaps he was not able to meet my demands. Perhaps he suspected that I would have taken advantage and charged refugees fare for safe passage on the ship?
I still clung to the hope of helping refugees escape the Communists, but it was looking near impossible. I had not accepted the position of ship captain for the Tan Nam Viet ship. I had no hope of using Truong Xuan. There was no way out. The situation became more and more critical, and feelings of guilt welled up in me each time I thought about my family being trapped in Viet Nam with the Communists. I visited Truong Xuan daily, sometimes more than once. The ship was totally deserted on the morning of April 28, not a sailor onboard.
Chat, the officer on duty, and all crew had left the ship. The ship owner still had not agreed to appoint Le Hong Phi as the chief engineer. My hopes disappeared that day. The political situation changed every hour. I was not sure how to cope with the ever-changing situation. I wanted to see Chat in the hope that he would be able to give me some ideas. He lived in the Hang Xanh area but had no telephone. I left the harbor totally heart broken. I told my family that here was no hope to escape by means of Truong Xuan. In the afternoon, I went to Phu Nhuan to visit my relatives; I needed to plan our escape.
I also wanted to keep myself occupied so that hopelessness could not set in; I could feel that my health was deteriorating. We will then fly out. I was somewhat encouraged by this news. At least my wife and my daughters could escape. Once the plane took off, Lam my youngest son and I could have acted on our own and made our way out — just as I had planned before. They picked me up at Phu Nhuan. I was reluctant to get into the car. I still held the idea that I would stay and try to ship out my fellow citizens. There was something wrong with the idea of being picked up to escape alone.
The car was stopped at the airport, and we did not move for an hour. Everything was strictly checked. The airport was a bizarre scene. The images haunt me to this day. Many soldiers ended up at the airport; they left their guns and ammunition on the street before entering the gate. It was the total disintegration of the South Vietnamese army. These courageous soldiers of the past were entering the airport, but where would they go?
Who would collect all of those piles of guns and ammunitions? It was 11 PM — and then it was 12 PM. Everybody was waiting. I did not hear any news about evacuation. I followed Vuong like a robot. I met his wife, Mrs. Nguyen Thi Huyen, but I was not in the mood to say hello. By 1 AM, Mrs. According to him, the plane was to take off before 2 AM. Intelligence sources say that the Communists will begun shelling sometime this morning. Many people were rejected. My family was on the list of the lucky ones. The reception hall was large, but dimly lit and full of people. There were only quiet whispers.
Everyone was lost in thought. Around 4 AM on April 29, a sharp noise pierced the air and was followed by thundering explosions. The airport was under attack by rockets; brick debris was flying everywhere. Houses had been directly hit by rockets and burning like huge torches. Everyone laid down flat on the floor as we did not know where to go to hide ourselves. I was not scared of the rockets. But I was afraid of being killed for no reason at all and being ridiculously hit by one of the rockets.
If you have never been under rocket attack, I suppose that you could not understand. But the idea of some random pile of metal ending your life was enough to make you insane. Rockets continued to explode for 2 hours. Nguyen Van Phuong, the chief pilot, disappeared. Ky was standing at the entrance door, and I did not want to ask him for any news.
To avoid wasting time, I urged my wife and our children to head home from the airport. My wife quietly told me at the airport gate that Cousin Ky had assured all his relatives that Tan Son Nhut Airport would be well-defended and that it would take the Communists 10 days to capture the airport if they decided to attack. Rockets continued to explode. Areas surrounding the airport such as Phu Nhuan, Chi Lang were shelled. Many people died. We made our way home. This is a permit issued by the Interior Department to allow you to ship out our people to Phu Quoc Island.
You have your own authority to use the ship. Chief engineer Le Hong Phi will board the ship. Good-bye Captain, I am flying out by helicopter. Truong hopped into his car and drove away. Holding this permit in my hand, I was both hopeful and worried. The suburbs of Saigon were continuously being shelled by rockets. There was no sign of soldiers or police in the streets. Ignoring the curfew, people were running in the streets.
Everyone thought that the battle in Saigon would be a big one and that they had to leave the capital. Having the permit to transport people, I felt more hopeful but I also felt nervous. Lam, my son, gave me a ride to Pier 5. It was already 6 PM. Truong Sinh ship had docked on April 25 next to Truong Xuan. It lay immobile in the dock and would be left behind. Once onboard the Truong Xuan, my heart was beating much faster than at any other time aboard the ship.
Something unusual had happened or was happening. Nobody was found on the deck.
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The door to the engine room was shut. Lam quietly followed me, saying nothing. During those last turbulent days of April , my son Lam and I were always together. It was getting dark. I wanted to stay back to wait for Phi. He told me that we could start leaving tomorrow around lunchtime, after he has checked everything.
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How come no one is on duty? The troops were falling apart. Law, order and discipline were deteriorating. I picked up a piece of chalk and wrote on a small blackboard to be hung on the gangway:. I did not specify the destination. I planned to head for Phu Quoc in the event that the war against the Communists still continued. In the event that South Viet Nam was defeated and it had to surrender to the Communists, Truong Xuan would head overseas. If they wanted to leave by their own free will, I would ship out as many refugees as possible.
My countrymen and women had to decide for themselves in order to avoid any regrets. I left Truong Xuan at 8 PM. Saigon was under curfew day and night. The gate to the harbor was locked. Streets were ghostly quiet. Lam drove me in our small car. From Khanh Hoi back to the Cong Hoa soccer field, we passed by familiar streets: I had passed by these streets so many times during my seaman career. War had made me a refugee so many times. I went to Hai Phong. I fled Hai Phong when the French landed there.
I then fled to Hanoi. The French started their attack at midnight of that day. By , our whole family had to flee to the South. Now, 21 years later, we had to flee again. Our greatest loss was the loss of our villages, our country. Walking in Saigon, our capital, in the middle of the quiet night gave me a chill. I was totally preoccupied with our journey the following day. To go to Phu Quoc, or to leave our country forever? I wondered whether Phi would be able to cope with potential sabotage by the passengers if the decision was made to leave the country. Some would not want to leave the country and might resort to desperate measures to stop the ship.
Hunger, thirst, mutiny, murder, rape — it was all possible. As soon as I got home, I told my family that Truong Xuan would be departing the next day. I instructed them to pack a small bag of clothing for each person, some pills for colds and upset stomachs, personal papers and some photo albums. It was up to them to make their own decision about leaving the country. I did not get a wink of sleep that night.
I was tense and exhausted. I had longed for this journey in order to ship out my fellow countrymen. My planned trip around South East Asia was abandoned to come back to Saigon with the hope of helping my countrymen and women — a small gesture so that I would not feel guilty for the rest of my life. Late in the night, some cousins from Phu Nhuan phoned and told me that Communist troops now occupied many places.
Hearing the news, I made up my mind: I would leave Saigon at all costs. I told everyone to wait for me at home and not to leave without me. Yet, I would have never refused those who wanted to flee when they boarded the ship.
They had to pay money in order to get through the gate at Pier 5. Phi confirmed that Truong Xuan would be ready to sail out as planned. There were no crew members yet — it was totally up to the crew members to come along or not; it was pointless to force them to leave against their will. Lam stayed back on the ship. All my relatives and neighbors were in the trucks, about of them altogether. Thuyen guided the truck drivers toward the port, just to make sure that they would not get lost somewhere.
I went back to pay my last visit to the house that had sheltered my family for twenty years. I had been a seaman for many years. The two-story house was as small as ever, just 3. Its veranda extended to the curb; we often sat there to enjoy the cool breeze in the evening. The front yard was very small, yet we were able to plant a star fruit tree. In its flowering season the star fruit tree bloomed luxuriously.
I had the strange feeling that I was visiting another garden when I looked at the flowers with purple petals mixed with white petals. Leaving behind such a modest house, I felt a pain in my heart. Our dear little house had nurtured so many memories. I was considered the richest person in the Pham family, even though I lived in this slum house. We all had to struggle to make a living on a daily basis. None of us could have helped others financially. I was the one with the highest salary but it was very costly to raise 9 children.
Unlike my colleagues at work, I could not afford a big house or a car. We had to take the bus, use a bicycle, or hire a cyclo. While I was reminiscing next to the star fruit tree, my older brother Kha came to bid me goodbye. He was frail and looked haggard. Suddenly, I felt so sorry for him. He sent his two sons, Tuan Son and Tuan Hung, to go with me to the ship. His eldest son was a major and a pilot but had to leave his wife and his children behind in order to flee to Can Tho with his strategic committee.
My brother Kha had been jailed at Dam Dun, a prison where the Communists kept their opponents, for 2 years. I dared not think about his fate when he decided to stay back. We tightly held hands. I dared not look at him in order to avoid weeping. I was in a haze, yet I can still vividly remember him as we bid goodbye.
My brother did not say anything; he just quietly walked into the house, alone. My wife had saved more than , Vietnamese Piastres or Dong in Vietnamese , several gold rings, a couple of bracelets and one ounce of gold. That is all we had when we left. To me, money or gold was meaningless in a time like this. Emotion and spirit was the only thing of value. After 15 minutes of visiting our house for the last time, I got into the car where Duong and Thuyen were waiting for me.
The GMC trucks had just arrived when we got to Pier 5. The gate at the port was still closed. Dat and his wife sat still in the car. They and their 8 children got out of their car, too slowly for Hoa, who quickly picked up their youngest child and shoved him into the truck. What about my belongings, cousin Hoa? Just save the people first. Get in quickly! Whatever you can bring, bring.
Leave the rest behind. Please bring them here. I will wait. You are not coming? I have the permit to transport them to Phu Quoc Island. I have the authority to transport any refugee to Phu Quoc.
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How come other people were allowed to get in over there? But Le Van Ty was quicker with an envelope from his briefcase. He discreetly gave it to the policeman. The gate was opened wide and the barbed wire barricade was removed. After the two GMC trucks had entered the gate, a crowd of people followed suit and they all got in safely. Le Van Giep, an architect, and his younger brother were among this crowd. By 9 AM, a crowd of to people were waiting at the dock.
The gangway to the ship was left open; anyone who wanted to board the ship was welcome. People asked me:.
People stormed the ship either through the gangway or by means of the crane that had been used to load scrap metal a few weeks before. Pham Xuan Mai, who had phoned me early in the morning to ask me about the escape, was already onboard.